To me, there’s two things on this earth that give us a glimpse of the peace and beauty that will come when we enter the Kingdom of Heaven. One is fall time in the mountains with the changing leaves and crisp air. The other is the ocean with its majestic sunsets and the waves crashing on the shoreline. I think these are the two most common retreats. So naturally, when we’re at the brink of mental depletion and it’s mid May, we take our girl to the beach!
Our sweet boy was turning 4 and you should know by now this momma loves to celebrate Birthdays. Being 8 months pregnant with the weight of my body and our situation pushing me down, I kept it simple at a local trampoline park. I told Charlie his present from us was going to “Memaw’s Beach House” (she doesn’t really own one, yet, but we stay at the same condo every year and it’s home for Charlie). I’m not going to lie, I told him the trip was for him but I think it was more for me.
I knew we were in the final months of our time with our girl and I wasn’t ready to let go yet. I had become in love with her movements and her spirit. Being in a situation like ours, each hour was a gift and not taken for granted. I learned quickly what she loved and what made her dance. Hot sauce and steak for our girl and daddy could not have been more proud. There was a lot of steak restaurant dinners for us but Dalton would always say she was worth it and smile at my requests. He was no different when I told him we should go to the beach.
“He is my loving ally and my fortress, my tower of safety, my rescuer. He is my shield, and I take refuge in him.” Psalms 144:2 NLT
The beach was the perfect getaway. We sat in the sand playing with trucks and shovels, building castles. I would daydream about coming back with Evelynn in 2019, winning this journey and watching Charlie show Evelynn how to play with the same toys. Even though I knew it was possible with God, that ending didn’t feel like our story. With every happy memory there, a piece of me was sad knowing what was to come and what our future would be without.
In one way or another, I know God has answered our prayers over Eve. He just has done it in His own way. I believe that when you go to heaven, our burdens and pain are no more. We are healed and we are whole in His presence. This world is broken so there will be pain, disappointment, sadness. I didn’t want our journey to be this way but God’s reasoning is bigger and better than I will ever understand. I know my girl is healed. We all have won. He is the only reason we smile and live throughout this journey and I will trust and hope in Him even if it’s hard to do with a broken heart. My prayers are the same for you.
“He will wipe every tear from their eyes, and there will be no more death or sorrow or crying or pain. All these things are gone forever.” Revelation 21:4 NLT
Day 9. I want to thank Larrah Melissa Photography for capturing our love for each other and Eve. I actually didn’t tell her our story until after vacation because I didn’t want it to alter her vision in any way. The results were breath taking to me and everything I hoped for. Thank you Larrah for touching our hearts with your talent.
Evelynn’s Basket 