Have you ever been so excited, so ready, for what's to come that you lose sleep day dreaming about the possibilities? Have you seen yourself on a stage, in an interview, outside the country? I feel like I haven't slept all month and this is just the beginning. God sure does lead us on amazing … Continue reading Evelynn’s Basket- Just The Beginning

For me, October used to be a time of innocently celebrating fall and celebrating myself. Changing leaves, boots and leggings, my birthday, my favorite holiday: Halloween. Now, this month calls for a different reason to celebrate and it's a reason I never wanted. It's a time I get to tell my story and speak openly … Continue reading 31 Things to Do During Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Month- Or Any Month After Loss.

Returning from our trip to Ashville was not hard for me. I could emotionally feel how far I had come and I thought I had conquered grief. My days would be filled with happiness as I rested in the peace of knowing my daughter was healed being rocked in Jesus' arms, right? Boy, was I … Continue reading Hope In Him

For those of you who can empathize, grief is exhausting. You don't have to be a mom of infant loss to know how that deep pain can be debilitating. You don't know how many times I heard "Well you had a long time to prepare for her death so that must have made it easier, … Continue reading A Break From Grief

There is no doubt that I was affected by anticipating losing my daughter, delivering a lifeless body, and then having to give her body away. Everything about the situation makes me hurt to my bones. But do you know who is often the first to step inside my grief with me? Her daddy. Do you … Continue reading A Letter From Daddy

Day 23. Oh, my sweet girl, I wonder if you can look down on your momma bear and know my thoughts before I even leave them here? Before you were created, I prayed for you. Mommy and Daddy wanted you so bad I took my temperature and asked daddy to eat brazil nuts in hopes … Continue reading A Letter From Mommy

To the beautifully happy and naïve former me, Do you remember when you were in high school and moms would make caddy comments about your figure? "You've got great birthing hips. Your going to make a grandma very happy one day." It made you feel odd, but you smirked and moved on quickly. You will … Continue reading A Letter to the Old Me

Out of the five self-help books I'm currently working through, three of them all mention the same story in different viewpoints. Considering I'm not finished with them, maybe even all five. It is a very familiar story known to most who have read just even parts of the Bible. It's the story of Lazarus. Seeing … Continue reading Let’s All Go To Church

Leaving the funeral home, I was beyond exhausted but at peace. Five days postpartum I stood for hours and hugged dear friends and family as they came in single file to love on us. The "worst" part of our journey was over, or so I thought. I knew little about grief and let me say, … Continue reading Evelynn’s Basket

After Evelynn's birth, I was given the option and decided to stay over night in the hospital. All I wanted was a slice of thin crust cheese pizza. Momma got what she wanted delivered and even though I could only handle a few bites, it was fantastic. The next day they needed my room and … Continue reading The Color of Her Spirit is Lavender