31 Things to Do During Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Month- Or Any Month After Loss.

For me, October used to be a time of innocently celebrating fall and celebrating myself. Changing leaves, boots and leggings, my birthday, my favorite holiday: Halloween. Now, this month calls for a different reason to celebrate and it’s a reason I never wanted.

It’s a time I get to tell my story and speak openly about loosing my daughter, Evelynn. One in four women know actually what this month means. It’s weird to be excited about something so awful but honoring my daughter everyday, being her voice, and spreading awareness have been the most therapeutic actions for me.

I pray you find what works best for you and live in it. God, journalism, music, counseling, all of which I have used, but really any medium. Relish in your process, in your healing, in finding out how to live with loss. Take time to be still with God and really be still. I promise, as hard as it is to live in a world made for the living, you can find ways to turn that deep hurt into beautiful purpose.

On your own time, you will eventually start moving forward, not because you have to, because you want to. You will walk, eat, shower, and socialize for yourself one day but if that day isn’t here yet, that’s ok. I will be right there with you. My honest answer to a popular question is no, no I don’t feel better yet but I do feel different. I live with the dance of grief and joy daily. I have changed for God and for that I am grateful. I choose to be grateful everyday for His love. His plan is much bigger than my hurt.

Don’t give up, momma. If not for you, then for your little who would want nothing more than to see their momma or daddy thrive.

He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds. Psalm 147:3 NIV

Day 28. I had this plaque made to be right in front of the tree we planted in her honor. It hurts my heart the tree I researched and loved didn’t come to fruition this month but I know just because October is ending my acts of love won’t. I have other ideas in its place for now and they 100% involve a Christmas tree. 😉 Our children are the motivation for every move, right?

Day 29. I’d like to share my list of 31 things I did to honor my baby during the month of October, plus other options I didn’t even get to.

1. Update social media profile with picture and/or twibbon. Wear lapel ribbon daily.
2. Random Act of Kindness
3. Thank OBGYN.
4. Say your Angels name and pray for others’ babies.
5. Share a Miscarriage statistic.
6. A letter to your living child/ren.
7. Share special jewelry you bought.
8. Share a song.
9. Thank pregnancy photographer.
10. Exercise.
11. Stillness with God.
12. Thank pregnancy specialist.
13. Donate an item in your babies honor.
14. Share gifts you received.
15. Participate in the Wave of Light.
16. Share stillbirth statistic.
17. Share photo of babies feet.
18. Thank Now I Lay Me Down to Sleep.
19. Share Urn or a piece of art.
20. Share infant loss statistic.
21. Share a book.
22. Share a tattoo.
23.  Write a letter from mommy.
24. Write a letter from daddy.
25. Do something for yourself. (Self-preservation is key.)
26. Share a keepsake (box).
27. Donate breast milk.
28. Hang a wind chime.
29. Plant a tree.
30. Share your story, journal, blog.
31. Share your future plans for awareness and honoring your baby.

Others options could be:

1. Name a star after your baby.
2. Order a picture of the night sky the day your angel was born
3. Paint a rock for your garden
4. Run/Walk a race
5. Thank a therapist
6. Donate to a toy drive
7. Volunteer with an organization
8. Share infant loss statistic.

I, sincerely, pray for peace for your heart.