Giving Her a Name

Today, I just want to give her a name. After all, this whole month of remembrance for me started with her.

Some call it a good guess, some call it a mother’s intuition, but no matter what label you give it, I knew my second pregnancy was a girl. I anxiously awaited for those little pink lines to appear. It was around Thanksgiving 2017. She was very much planned and prayed for, this little daughter of mine. (Unlike her handsome older brother who came just after the honeymoon. Ha.) Big brother Charles was a huge part in our decision to grow our family. He would look at me with those innocent eyes and tiny voice and ask “where is my baby?” I’d look down at him, smile with excitement (why have I waited so long anyway?), and say “Well, buddy, I don’t know. Let’s ask God first and see what He says.” I definitely did not hear what He was telling me. There was a few months of conscious effort. I remember being at a stoplight praying to take the desire out of my heart because I wanted to give Charlie a baby and it was not happening fast enough. I was impatient, thinking the worst already. I had no real reason yet but I was scared. I had been asking God to use me in a BIG way for Him, I just didn’t want it to be this way..

I can look back now and I know He was telling me to slow down. I’m sure because he wanted me to savor the small moments because there wouldn’t be many. He is always in control. You just have to be still and listen. Trust.

“Do not be afraid, for I have ransomed you. I have called you by name; you are mine. When you go through deep waters, I will be with you.” Isaiah 43:1-2 NLT

Finally it happened and all was right in the world. Life would go on like normal and we were going to be a family of FOUR! Just as any excited momma would think. God’s plans are always bigger and better than ours. I still believe that, no matter what the circumstances may bring..  Before our 8 week appointment to confirm those pink lines, she was Evelyn after my paternal Grandmother. I just love family names. I wanted a part of her dad to be in her name too and since his middle name is Lynn, she shortly became Evelynn and to me it never sounded sweeter. I loved the personal touch. Renee is my mom’s name and my maiden middle name. Evelynn is named after the two strongest women I know, women who have looked at uphill battles their entire life with grace, strength, and faith. As a kid, I was never without their love. I was proud and honored to make her name complete, Evelynn Renee King. Little did I know then how much her name would reflect that same strength, faith, and so much love.

Why am I focusing today on the little parts of our journey that started so long ago? Because it is the story. No whole is complete without their parts and no part in this journey is meaningless to me. I return to the past for healing, for my future. To give her name the worth God intended.

Day 2 is all about simple random acts of kindness. I have been shown so much kindness throughout this journey so in Evelynn’s honor, be your best self today. I know a few mommas and a broken world that needs it.

Thank you for being a part of my healing.